a lot of times people question my decisions.
i’m ridiculously spontaneous.
i do/eat/perform what i want, move/study/work/play where i want and never question it.
no regrets. never any regrets.
like is too fucking short.
i hate planning.
i hate being told what to do.
when i go on vacation, i like to just show up and figure it out from there.
and when i do plan stuff, i usually change my mind and do something completely different at the last minute. yeps, i’m one of those people.
my baby brother calls me a free-spirit.
my mother calls me exhausting…
(and wants to know when the spouse and grand-babies are coming)…
but the older i get, the more i wonder, am i really a free-spirit or just afraid of commitment?
for ex. i just turned down a few fantastic opportunities in the two cities i loved living in most (my darling San Francisco and my sassy NYC). i turned them DOWN, because i sat down and THOUGHT about what was best for me, and at this moment in time those opportunities are not it. no spontaneous planning, no jumping in without questioning….which is not characteristic of me.
i can’t decide if this is wisdom or self-doubt.
either way,
no regrets. never any regrets.
life is too fucking short.
love,
e.
